September 17, 2018

{of a humble kind}

For the longest time I spoke out to you, strangers afar.
Then, for a time, my voice was strangled.
I think I thought I’d needed to arrive somewhere more quickly than I had been able.
In fact I’m still not there,
Except in a sense.
In a way I’ve quit arrived.
Feeling somehow I’ve ftansformed, at long last into an adult.
Adulthood, this illusive state.
Something I was sure I hadn’t grasped.
I’ve long realized mere age is no indicator, and knowing this thought perhaps
Experience? Wisdom? Achieving your dreams?
However, lately I’ve begun to toy with idea it may be something simpler
It is, in fact, wisdom 
In a way
Except I wouldn’t call it that
For what IS wisdom after all? For it certainly cannot be always knowing the answer
Unless by that you mean knowing how little the answers matters
For, you see, I think the thing bringing about these rare glimpses of adulthood,
This fleeting feeling I’ve arrived-
Is humility

Humility for the long path
Humility for the failures
Humility for the fact that for all my trying I may never arrive
But, that could be ok
Because I DID try
Because I dream
Because I’ve done so without money
Or sure knowledge
Or community
Humility for the imperfection
The done enough
The making do
The often ugly form resourcefulness begets


For realizing what it is that really matters
For realizing who I really am

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