WHO AM I PERFORMING FOR?
I've struggled my whole life with people
With relationships, friends, acquaintances, and strangers
But for what
Why does it matter if I make myself a fool
Perhaps a fool is what i'm meant to be
Why does it matter if I lack eloquence?
Why does everyone need me all the time
Why cant my time be my own
Sometimes (most times) What id really like is shut you all out
But at the same time try to pull you close
Its mind boggling
I know that every one of us struggles with this to some degree
But I have a serious, yet unjustifiable, and, whats worse, constant fear of others
I am not afraid of the woods
Or its creatures
Of creating
Or of my own mind
In fact I very much like who I am
So why do I feel the need for others to agree?
I've never really been able to keep friends
Not that they don't try,
but eventually my shyness will drive even the most determined contenders away
Its my plague
Oh well
I'm not even feeling particularly down about it today,
Just what was on my mind,
Is all...
1 comment:
i feel this is everyday. i tend to over compensate for it till i wear myself down. i am myself when walking among trees, listening to birds i am more myself by myself and this year i will stop apologizing for it.
thank you for writing this, i do hope you are able let go of some of it. i heard the other day
if i listened to others tell me how i should live my life, i would be living someone elses
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