April 21, 2011




OVERWHELMED

This is just the way spring is for me, I guess
I feel so overwhelmed I become completely incapable of accomplishing anything.
There is an unending (and so far unwritten down) list
Of things i need to do...
Perhaps I'll share it with you 
To provide some accountability
...

However, this spring seems heavier,
And then again lighter at the same time.
I've taken on a new life and have some pretty lofty aspirations
Perhaps so lofty they need to be tucked away for another day...
...

It seems that since I have become a self employed artist, I have been unable to do any real "artisting".
Yes, I have done my usual procrastinating and hurriedly churning out, packaging up and shipping out of orders To the poor poor people who dare to purchase something from me.
Poor folks, they just don't know what they are getting themselves into.
I mean, how many excuses can one girl give?
Let me tell you,
....A lot!
... 

Apparently I believe that i am capable of being the perfect "housewife" as well.
But who am i kidding? When i was growing up you couldn't so much as see one square inch of my floor...
And while I'm better as a 27 year old, sometimes its not by much.
And the perpetual construction projects going on (or rather wishing they were going on) 
Around me does not help...
...

I want to provide 3 square restaurant quality meals a day, keep a clean (and well designed) house, an Abundantly productive, yet beautiful and organic garden, keep up with exercise, the budget, walking the dog, Being a productive artist with some actual variation in what i make,  and remember to bathe and put on a new Outfit each and every day?????????!!!!!!!!!
...

I feel like pulling my hair out.
That's all there is to it.
...

Obviously it is going to take more than 2 weeks to figure all of this out.
But like i said, spring is the busiest time of year... And I sort of wish I hadn't had to go back to the nursery this Winter. Perhaps then, i could have sorted myself out by this point
...

I suppose ill be building trellises and planting seeds today,
And maybe i can get those 2x4s up for the fence, or finish that daffodil bed, or order the gravel for the driveway?
At least we got the grass cut for once... My neighbors must just love me.
 I mean, how could you not love the bright blue fence that's only
Been half constructed since spring of 2010?
...





I think i need some encouragement...












6 comments:

Taylor Lynn said...

Well, blogs are a good place for encouragement! <3 Here's my attempt at it...

Don't worry, things have a way of getting better and working out. Don't be too hard on yourself, nobody's perfect! And if there's something you really can't stand, like if you absolutely hate to procrastinate... well, I used to procrastinate, too, and I've stopped doing so nearly as much. It just takes a little focus. You can do it! <3

(How did I do with the encouragement? ;)

The Oak Leaves said...

You did Great!
Thanks, i needed some o' that!

Taylor Lynn said...

Thanks- I'm glad I could help. Here's a virtual hug: (((HUG)))

<3 Taylor Lynn

eva louise. said...

lady, i see so much of myself in your writing. i have to tell myself often: everything will come together, just keep swimming, and keep those rocks out'cher pockets, girl. ♥

kate said...

Ahh, yes. I feel your pain. I, too, am trying to figure out this new job of being a housewife (I've only been at it for six months now), a creator, and feeling like a complete being all at the same time. It's hard and overwhelming, and sometimes I get to the point where I'm so depressed I can't get out of bed in the morning. The adjustment is hard but we will both work through it. I know that I'd rather be here at home, taking care of my husband, our dogs, and our house more than anywhere else. Take one day at a time, one project at a time, one chore at a time. Everything will all fall into place.

The Oak Leaves said...

I seriously love you guys! why aren't any of you in Va?